…a good friend of mine Dr. Phill’d my life in the form of a text message and it went a little something like this:
"Unfortunately for you, most men suck. In your case, the pool of qualified men is small, because you’re a successful woman, that’s probably - more often than not - more successful than the guys you date (just a hunch). This leaves you with 3 options. 1. The guy who makes less money than you, but doesn’t feel threatened by your success and independence (good luck finding this guy) 2. The guy that digs you, but despises you deep down inside, because he doesn’t feel like he measures up to you, because he doesn’t feel like you really need him (this is most guys. Some hide it well) 3. The guy that is more successful than you. In guy language this means, the guy that makes significantly more money than you. Personally, I think this is your best starting point. You can be yourself with this guy."
I should mention that this friend is a happily married man with three lovely, well-behaved, balanced children. Doesn’t mean he has all the answers but, if this were a test, I’d cheat off his paper.
I believe. I allow. I receive. Love.
I believe. I allow. I receive. Healing.
I believe. I allow. I receive. Peace.
I believe. I allow. I receive. Success.
I believe. I allow. I receive. Growth.
I believe. I allow. I receive. Light.
“The deepest sense of gratitude and contentment came to me after I had hit the wall. Literally when nothing made sense, I came to mine, which let’s me know pain is very misunderstood. On the other side of it is a thrill that’s larger than pleasure, a reward irreplaceable; wisdom. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t call on pain. But when it visits, I listen, knowing full well that it’s a message centered on my well-being.”—Mustafa Shakir
Today, I am thankful for friends who allow me the space to experience the REALITY of my emotions but, at the same time, remind me of the TRUTH of who I am. I create my circumstances, my circumstances do not create me.
don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve love from other people because you struggle with loving yourself
Interesting take, I had a different interpretation. Not that someone won’t love you because they think you don’t deserve it but more that they can’t love you because, for whatever reason, you don’t think you deserve it…thus your struggles with loving yourself.
Grammy-winning musician and DJ Questlove has been stopped by police between 20 and 30 times in his lifetime, he told Democracy Now! in an interview this week touching on racial profiling and stop-and-frisk policies.
The co-founder and drummer for “The Roots” and music manager on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” recounted his first encounter with police, which occurred when he was a teenager growing up in Philadelphia. In 1987, he and a friend were stopped while driving back from buying the U2 album The Joshua Tree.
“A cop stopped us, and he was holding a gun on us. There is nothing like the first time that a gun is held on you,” he said. “We’re 16, mind you, like 16, 17 years old, and I just remember theprotocol, I remember my father telling me, like, ‘If you’re ever in this position, you’re to slowly keep your hands up.’…How I knew that was the protocol at that young age, I mean, it’s probably a sad commentary, but it was also a matter of survival.”
Even today, he “gets stopped all the time,” he said. He was “stopped for unknown reasons” as recently as a few weeks ago. After finishing a regular Thursday night DJ gig in Brooklyn, police officers pulled over him and his driver, shined flashlights into the car, and asked him: “Why are you sitting in the back seat like a don?” The police only released him after he showed them a copy of his new memoir, Mo’ Meta Blues.
He recalled that his “most humiliating experience” occurred after a 2010 appearance for President Obama in Orange County, California. He had pulled over to call his manager when five police cars began to surround his car.Police then made him exit his car and wait in the back of a police cruiser while they searched his car.
“The stuff I had in the trunk were some psychology books and some Scrabble games. In my head, I thought, there’s no way that they’re going to believe that that stuff belongs to me.”
“I didn’t have a chance to deposit it,” he said. But airport officials didn’t believe him and ushered him away for questioning.
On the overall experience of being stopped, he said: “It’s the most humiliated, emasculating feeling I’ve ever had. I only feel low when that happens.”
Questlove even said that when choosing a car, he avoids anything “flashy” to prevent getting pulled over.
“How much more can I play it safe? Like, I’m already purposely taking myself out of situations because I want to avoid that. But I don’t know how much more I can suppress myself to not seem like a threat,” he said. Other prominent African American men, including former Reading Rainbow host Levar Burtonand U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder have talked about the advice they feel compelled to give to their sons on avoiding police encounters.
Questlove also commented on the ruling that declared New York City’s stop and frisk policy unconstitutional and an indirect form of racial profiling.
“I was highly shocked. That’s something that just came out of left field because I too was wondering, ‘will stop and frisk just be…a way of life?’”
“I wish friends and lovers still wrote letters to each other, poetry to each other, or recorded their thoughts in the form of small, tangible gifts. There is nothing lovelier than receiving the innermost thoughts of another person in their handwriting, their words smeared with the side of their palm or looped in cursive ink so that they all run together. I would keep them all.”—Arosary (via wryer)