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07

Sep

When It Hits Home…

An article entitled “5 Things White Women do That Black Women Can’t Get Away With" came across my dash and, of course, I had to click-and-see. When I read through it, none of the content was surprising but what did kind of catch me off guard was how the last point clicked for me. Something I’ve been living with but never fully identified. This one short piece solves a lot of the mystery that has been my life in ways that would take all day for me to explore and delve into here. But I’m sharing because I know I’m not alone.

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Black Women Are Not Expected to be Emotionally Vulnerable

Black women’s resilience dates back to the dawn of humanity and it was called upon during the painful history of enslavement and racial oppression, where they were subjected to abuse, violation and exploitation. Black women learned to survive dehumanizing conditions by becoming skilled in the balancing act of appeasing her slave master by complying with his demands, while still making sacrifices to meet the needs of those who were dependent upon her.

Researchers have suggested that the cultural expectation of fortitude in African-American women fuels the myth of the “strong Black woman,” which compels her to push for unrealistic levels of self-sacrifice, self-denial and ensuing emotional distress. White women have not had to bear this cultural burden.

Dana Stringer argues in her EURweb article, “Hidden Dangers of Being A ‘Strong Black Woman,” that because Black women are not permitted to be transparent about their personal suffering, the internalizing of pain, disappointment and unmet needs have greatly contributed to the “anxiety, stress, fatigue, anger, uptightness, irritability, insomnia, overeating, addiction, shame, guilt and depression” that so many of them suffer. This poses one of the greatest threats to their health and overall quality of life.”

05

Sep

Questions You & Your Mate Should Discuss Before Marriage + 10 Common Lies Told at the Altar

The questions range in topic including everything from sex to money to parenting style. Social life, pets, vacation preferences and even media and culture.

When you’re talking about spending the rest of your life with someone, no stone should be left unturned. These questions are a great place to start a dialogue and open up some potentially never-before-seen perspectives on your relationship.

In addition, check out what Dr. Robin Smith identifies as common lies told at the altar and see how many, if any, of them you may have had the potential of perpetuating.

01

Sep

greyscale.

greyscale.

27

Aug

your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have build against it.
rumi

19

Aug

i deserve the finer things.

spoil me with fond memories. shower me with promises fulfilled.

In the instance of comparing the police involved shooting deaths of John Winkler vs. that of Mike Brown, here is my opinion.

side note: details about the Bundy Ranch stand off I referenced can be found here.

18

Aug

today, on Facebook.

05

Aug

#notetoself

In the midst of being compassionate, giving and caring, be careful not to sacrifice having your own needs met. Goodness without boundaries creates victims. It’s not ok to just decide that you don’t need something that you actually do need for the sake of pleasing another.